Another swell bicycle ride from yer ol' pal Glen

The 17th Annual

("I swear this is the last year!")

Farm Ride

Amherst & Northampton, MA

August 2-4, 2024

Come for one, two, or all three days

Kids 12 or younger on ride day pedal for free!


Join us for one, two, or all three days -- your choice

Here's a brief description of each day -- complete details on our web site at

Beneath these descriptions is the actual question where you pick which days you want.


Our ride HQ office at the University of Massachusetts - Amherst will be open starting at noon. Come on by for a free cold drink or some friendly help. 

If you're room is ready you can check-in; if it's not ready yet, you can leave your luggage with us if you wish. 

We'll have a short relaxed escorted ride at 2:30 p.m. for ice cream. About 21 miles total.

Back in time for dinner at the college dining commons -- picked by the Princeton Review year after year as the best in the country!

Pay for your own ice cream (cheap) and dinner (less than $20 for all you can eat), but otherwise this day is FREE.

NOTE: Friday is free if you are signed up for the Saturday or Sunday ride. You can't show up for ONLY Friday and ride for free.  (We are generous but not insane).  


This is the main ride day. Start-line breakfast, great rest stops, routes from 25 - 100 miles, full S.A.G. support, post-ride farm meal, beer, pie, more pie...



After the big ride stick around for our Saturday Night Dorm Party (Margaritas, beer, more food, assorted stupidity...) 

Those staying in the Deluxe Dorms WHO WANT TO can open up their suites for the Saturday Night Dorm Party. If you have an idea for a room, we'll foot the bill. (The Whiskey Bar, the Salty Snacks Room, The Tiki Bar, The Parisian Cafe...) The dorm party last year was so much fun I think we should just skip all this silly bike riding this year and head straight to the party.

Note that if you want nothing to do with the Dorm Party just let us know and we'll make sure that your room is far from all the fun.

On Sunday we'll have start-line breakfast plus lots of pocket food you can take with you for today's rides. Several marked shorter routes with full S.A.G. support, an escorted 40-mile ride, or skip riding and head into town. Free luggage storage if you need to check out early.


SO... which days do you want to ride?


Saturday is the big Farm Ride day. How far do you want to pedal? You can change your mind, even right in the middle of the ride, but telling us now how far you THINK you'll pedal helps us plan better for you.


We offer OPTIONAL transportation for your bike and you from Manhattan out to the ride and back again. Your bike travels in our bike trucks while you travel by van.

Note: We do not provide food during the trip, but we will stop at rest stops along the way where you can buy terrible road food, or bring your own!


Some cyclists come for just one day, but most make a great Farm Ride weekend out of it.

Here are the lodging choices, from basic to deluxe:

STANDARD DORM ROOMS -- Each room as two single beds, with bathrooms in the hallways. No air conditioning.

PRICE: $55 per PERSON per night. (So if one person is in the room they pay $55 per night. If two people are in the room they EACH pay $55 per night.)

DELUXE DORMS -- This is where I stay.  Each Dorm Suite has four small private single rooms that share two full bathrooms, a full-size kitchen, and a small seating area. Book just one of those four rooms for yourself, or book the entire four-room suite -- great for a family or a group traveling together!

PRICE: $80 per night for a private room within the four-room suite. $320 per night to take all four rooms for yourself.

NOTE: Deluxe dorm suites are co-ed. 


HOTELS -- Lots of local choices in all price ranges, including the Hotel UMass, a real three-star hotel located right on the UMass campus.

If you want to stay at the Hotel UMass, click here -- it'll take you to the special Farm Ride hotel reservation page.  (If you call the Hotel UMass on the phone they'll tell you that they are sold out. That's because they are holding the last rooms just for The Farm Ride!) Clicking that link is the ONLY want to snag one of those reserved rooms.


OTHER HOTELS -- there are plenty of other hotels in the area. Just use your favorite travel website and search for lodging near Amherst, MA.  Each day you can pedal to the UMass start line, or drive your car over -- plenty of free parking.

IF you are sharing a STANDARD Dorm room, or a DELUXE Dorm suite, AND you know who you want to share with, list their names(s) here.

If you are staying in the DELUXE dorms and would like us to find you roommates to fill out your four-room suite we will assign people of either sex, since everyone has a private room for sleeping -- you are sharing the communal kitchen and two full bathrooms.

We do NOT assign roommates for hotel rooms.


We ride rain or shine.

So usually we hesitate to even mention the word “rain”.

But we just did, so we offer optional rain insurance.

Here’s how it works:

IF YOU WANT you can buy rain insurance for Saturday August 3RD -- Farm Ride Day. 

Pay $25 for rain insurance.  If it rains 1/2” or more any time between 7 a.m. - 6 p.m. the insurance company pays you $200. If you prefer, pay $50 and get $400 if it rains 1" or more any time between 7 a.m. - 6 p.m. 

You do NOT need to show up on ride day to collect. So if you wake up and it’s pouring, you can stay in bed and go back to sleep. We’ll mail your check to you. (If you are a ride volunteer that part doesn’t apply to you -- you have to show up even if there’s a satanic firestorm).

The Fine Print

This is real insurance, which we buy from a real insurance company. These are reliable folks, but we pay you when they pay us. If the insurance kicks in they will send one check directly to us for the entire group. That means that we’ll send out your check as soon as we get our check and give it a couple days to clear the bank. (We trust them; we just can’t afford to lay out all that dough!)

Please remember that we are NOT guaranteeing that it won’t drizzle; we’re protecting you against a downpour.

Farm Ride T-shirts

You get a FREE Farm Ride T-shirt while supplies last. Pick it up in our Farm Ride Office on the ground floor of North Dorm C. (The Deluxe Dorms).

Trivia Note: These T-shirts are men's sizes.  We tried buying separate T-shirts in the past specifically cut for women, and our female cyclists hated the fit!  Go figure.

Welcome to the Department of Annoying Questions!

Registration Materials

You can pick up your registration materials at our ride HQ, which is located on the ground floor of North Dorm C - the deluxe dorms. We'll be there starting at noon on Friday August 2nd. Driving directions here. (Scroll about halfway down the page).

If you miss us on Friday, you can also get your stuff on ride day at the start line of the ride -- the parking lot outside North Dorm C. Not a problem!  The lines are short and move fast.

(Why don't we pre-mail registration materials?  Simple! We did it for years, but HUGE numbers of cyclists would lose their stuff or forget it at home. We were happy to re-issue copies, but suddenly it dawned on us...)

Clear as mud?  You bet!

IF you are staying in the STANDARD dorms, those rooms are NOT air-conditioned. That means that they might be delightfully cool, and they might be extra toasty.

Key Cards

Hey, you know those cheap plastic key cards that hotels give you that you always throw away? Yeah. The plastic key cards that UMass uses for the dorms contain a microchip and are expensive -- if you lose one or take it home with you by mistake they will IMMEDIATELY bill you $50.


(And how to get it...)

When we get closer to ride day we send out emails with all the stuff you need to know -- where to show up, when... The only problem is that we find that -- at best -- 70 percent of the riders actually read that stuff!

No problem-o! Everything you need to know is right here on the Quick Start section of our web site:

SO... raise your right hand and repeat after me:

"Being a smart and totally awesome person, I promise to either:

A) Read the emails when they get sent out (and make sure they're not in my spam filter).

B) Skip the emails but read the Quick Start guide.

C) Use my psychic powers to know what to do.

D) Not send an email to Glen at 1 a.m. on ride day marked URGENT -- WHAT TIME DO I SHOW UP? WHERE'S THE START LINE?



I, the undersigned, have read the refund policy for the ride, which can be found on the All the Bad Things on One Page section of our website, and agree to the refund policy's terms.

Waiver and Release of Claims: In consideration for your allowing me to participate in The Farm Ride, I, the undersigned, for myself, my heirs, executors, administrators and assigns, waive and release any and all claims for damages, for death, COVID, personal injury or loss of property which I may have or which may accrue to me as a result of my participation. I, the undersigned, discharge and release BICYCLE SHOWS U.S., Glen Goldstein, and their respective agents, vendors, rest stop locations, mechanics, boards and commissions from all liability arising out of or connected in any way with my participation in this excursion, whether or not caused by the negligence of any of the above parties. I acknowledge that this event may involve risks, including the risk of falling, collision with other bicyclists, motor vehicles, or stationary objects, and the conditions of the road. My participation is voluntary and done at my risk. I voluntarily assume all risks of loss, damage or injury that may be sustained while participating in this event. I recognize that an event of this nature can be physically demanding. I understand and agree that medical or other services rendered to me by or at the insistence of any of the above parties are not an admission of liability to provide or continue to provide such services, and are not a waiver by any of the said parties of any right hereunder. I understand that serious accidents may occur during bicycling excursions and that participants in this excursion may sustain mortal or serious injury as a consequence of their participation. I understand that my bicycle or other equipment may be stolen, damaged or destroyed during the ride, including during transportation in our rented trucks, buses, or other vehicles. Nevertheless, I agree to assume these risks and to release and hold harmless all of the persons mentioned above who might otherwise be liable to me for damages. I attest that I have checked the equipment I will use in this event and it is in good mechanical condition. I understand that bicycle helmets can prevent injuries and I agree to always wear a SNELL or ANSI approved bicycle helmet properly on my head whenever bicycling during this event. We reserve the right to cancel the ride if we feel that riding conditions are dangerous to you or others. The ride may also be canceled by an outside agency not controlled by us. No refunds or credits will be issued if the ride is canceled. I have read and understand everything written above and I voluntarily accept this agreement..

Billing Information

  • Visa
  • Mastercard
  • American Express
  • Discover
RedPodium Sports Event Management System